ALL HAIL THE ACROSTICAL. The usual scattered nonsense, with a special emphasis on teams that stay pissed off forever thanks to their obsessive anger-junkie coaches. Looking at you, wooden-legged Gary Patterson. Gary Patterson does not have a wooden leg, but you can't prove for sure that he doesn't, or that he doesn't by temperament need one to fill out the personality profile. Ahab with a jacked-up F-150 and a mouth full of dip, that man.
SEEEEEEEEE THEY'RE CLUELESS ABOUT THIS TOO.
If you have an argument with the committee then put on your big boy pants and make the argument. Don't whine. http://t.co/QDgHVaxbVR— Tony Barnhart (@MrCFB) October 28, 2014
When the new CFP poll comes out, know that from the outset it was a bad idea, and that the results will be bad. This makes them like the rest of us, and hopefully when this is all over you'll have learned the only lesson there is to learn: the people in charge don't know what they're doing either.
THAT'S NOT A VERY GOOD THING. Starting left tackle Cam Robinson is out for a few weeks for Alabama, which in no way will make Lane Kiffin's job harder as offensive coordinator, and will be considered when/if Alabama has another offensive hiccup in the next few weeks in a critical SEC West game. P.S. this whole "Alabama fans caring about offense" trend is weird and un-American, please stop doing it.
THAT'S NOT GOOD EITHER. Penn State safety Ryan Keiser is undergoing surgery to treat the nasty aftereffects of a rib injury and subsequent sepsis-type infection that set in after he suffered a rib injury in practice last Thursday.
PUNCHO. Yes, literally wrap yourself in the failure phrase-to-treasure from the last gasps of the Will Muschamp era.
UMMM WHAT THE HELL UNC. That can't really be a thing anyone ever said about recruiting inner-city kids to play college football. It probably is, yes, but damn, UNC, that's just unaware as hell, since if middle-aged white guys in North Carolina can't cheer for inner-city black kids, then the answer is clear: you need a better class of middle-aged white guys in North Carolina.
ETC: We don't think this reviewer enjoyed his Florida-Georgia Line show. SUNSET OVERDRIVE, Y'ALL.