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James Guillory-USA TODAY Sports

WE TOLD YOU SO. Oh, you thought we were just being idiots when we Factor Fived UConn-ECU instead of Thursday Night ACC Slip-And-Fall Accident. But the former was a close and interesting game while the latter was Virginia Tech spilling its lunch all over itself in the cafeteria. Now you're never going to get a prom date, Virginia Tech.

HOWEVER. We will concede that Miami-VT did have one advantage over the Huskies-Pirates game: Ron Cherry doing extremely Ron Cherry shit.

TEXAS A&M HAS MADE A TRADE. The Aggies were scheduled to play Oregon in 2018 and 2019, but they have found a new dance partner for those years - Clemson. That leaves the Ducks with a spot to fill, and a quick glance at their opponent history indicates there's one notable team they've never faced. Oregon-South Carolina and A&M-Clemson, both in the same state on the same weekend. It's like a weird swingers party, but football.

THIS WON'T WORK AT ALL. Marshall's hiring a PR firm to help them make their case for the College Football Playoff, and this happens to be a terrible idea that will only backfire. Nobody who writes about sports wants to get another email barrage from a PR firm. In fact, Marshall could have helped their public standing and saved money by just announcing that they specifically WEREN'T hiring a PR firm.

ETC. We're Running The Goddamn Jewels (2) all day, son.