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THE CURIOUS INDEX, 10/22/2014

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THAT'S GOOD HATE, MICHIGAN STATE

Leon Halip

WILL THIS PERDITION TRAIN EVER SCHEDULE ANOTHER STOP BESIDES FAIR ANN ARBOR?

Michigan State is a quality rival because they do what they're supposed to do: find you in distress, note your lowly state, and then deface something you love with spraypaint while fleeing the scene under cover of darkness. That's proper hate. Cultivate it well.

GURLEY BACK? UGA will apply for reinstatement today with the NCAA, which it will be granted because the entire case was bullshit anyway, and Todd Gurley should be allowed to play college football for Georgia when they play Florida. There's a vague admission of mistake-making in there by Gurley, which we assume applies to the issue of choosing to do business with an unreliable business partner. KNOW YOUR AUTOGRAPH DEALER, YOUNG MARKETABLES.

FUNBELT ARRIVED HARD. Step into the building with horrendous fake punts and dancing priests and you can take whatever seat you like, Fun Belt Tuesdays.

"I HAD THE WORLD BY THE BALLS." If you wanted to know where Chad Kelly, former Clemson QB, ended up, well the answer is "somewhere deep in the bowels of the Mississippi JUCO system." It sounds delightful:

One coach sat across from a mother who stared back at him with four eyes. "She had a pair of eyeballs tattooed right over her titties," he told me. "It gets surreal sometimes." Another recruit failed a drug test after smoking dope with his dad on the drive to school.

If the only place you've been to in Mississippi is Oxford, then oh, ohhhhh there are marvels you haven't even begun to experience beyond its preppy borders.

LEAVE POOR NEW MEXICO STATE ALONE. Already without a home conference and cast adrift on the college football seas, New Mexico State now has to deal with a copyright lawsuit from Oklahoma State over their mascot. Can't everyone agree that a mustachioed gunman with dead eyes and a lust for cold frontier murder is common enough to belong to everyone between Arkansas and California?

OH YOU'RE SO SENSITIVE, BIG 12. The Big 12 fined Baylor SID Heath Nielsen a grand for tweeting about the atrocious officiating in Baylor/WVU, a sum we hope some wealthy Baylor alum will pay out of protest.

CHARLIE WEIS! This SI article on the one day Bill Belichick was coach of the New York Jets contains some truly astonishing moments with Charlie Weis acting exactly like you expect he would.

ETC: That thing where rappers continue to release hot fire despite being in prison. Michigan appears to be unraveling not just in football, but generally speaking, as well.