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THE CURIOUS INDEX, 10/21/2014

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SPIT THAT HOT FIRE, LOU HOLTZ

USA TODAY Sports

ADJIBKLDJBFFKJDHGIGBKDGHHGGAAAHAHAHAHAAAAAA.

Rece Davis speaks fourteen languages, including Lou Holtz, and we bet he doesn't even know it. We mean that: it would not shock us if Rece parachuted into the Arctic, found a village, and greeted them with fluent Inuit without realizing he was speaking their language.

AT LAST THE UBERBOWL IS HERE. The Poulan Weed Eater Bowl may have been topped at last, as the Heart of Dallas Bowl just picked up Zaxby's as their title sponsor. This means it is now the Zaxby's Heart of Dallas, the only bowl with Zappetizers, Play-Zaction Pazzes, and Zalads. We are only making one of those up as a Zaxby's product.

FALLING ASLEEP AT THE WHATABURGER DRIVE-THRU IN STILLWATER IS INTENSE BIG 12 BEHAVIOR. Jhajuan Seales and Juwan Offray were both arrested at the Whataburger in Stillwater on Sunday morning at 4 a.m., which has to be some kind of new high-water mark in Big 12 mourning strategies following a loss. The two Oklahoma State players were arrested for public intox, a kind charge given that both were totally asleep, and that Seales' foot was on the brake of a car in drive. (No word on whether they got their food or not, which would be an additional tragedy here.)

BO PELINI, SOMEWHAT ASTUTE MEDIA CRITIC. Well, we'd like to argue, but it's probably not real healthy for ESPN to have the relationship it has with the SEC when it's trying to determine a fair way to crown a champion in college football.

NUMERICAL DOES NOT FORGET ABOUT YOU, OHIO STATE. They're still right there in the national title hunt, even if they are from the Big Ten and are not Florida State, and thus technically not part of #talkinbouttheNoles.

ETC: "Hal Kreitman, a Bodybuilding, Fetish-Partying, Ex-Chiropractor, Finds New Life Swimming With Wild Alligators." We always believed Chili's was underrated for its simmering atmosphere of unchecked sensuality. Gamblers need new fashion consultants.