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EVERYONE'S MADE BAD CHOICES, MICHIGAN

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TWO ROADS DIVERGED IN A MAIZE WOOD, AND WE TOOK THE ONE TO HELL

Okay, so Michigan chose Brady Hoke over Kevin Sumlin. We've all made mistakes in our choices in life.

Ryan: Okay. I suspect you'll have me beat either because you made more bad choices or remember them better.

Spencer: I left the country for work during our nation's biggest job boom.

Ryan: I took a semester of Arabic just because. Joakim Noah was in the class. For a day.

Spencer: I took intensive Russian at eight in the morning five days a week as a freshman. I chose English as a major over anything else.

Ryan: I also chose English as a major, and in one semester I had seminars on Philip Roth and Sylvia Plath. This is terrible for one's libido. I was studying for a final instead of watching the South Carolina-Florida game in 2006.

Spencer: I worked at a warehouse in Gainesville instead of going to the 1996 national title game.

Ryan: The Outback Bowl starts at noon on New Year's Day, which means you have to get up early, fight Tampa traffic, and then pretend like you're enjoying a stadium full of hungover Big Ten fans in baggy mock turtlenecks. It is the dumbest way to set the tone for your new year. I have been to two Outback Bowls.

Spencer: I have been to the last three horrendous blowouts for Florida in Tuscaloosa.

Ryan: I spent a summer working for Time Warner Cable.

Spencer: I worked at Bennigan's. As an adult. After that, I decided to work in non-profits over "jobs that paid money"

Ryan: Rather than pay for a hotel, I slept in a rural Italian train station. A homeless man insisted on talking to me about the Chicago Bulls. In Italian.

Spencer: Ah! Rather than pay for an hotel, I slept in a rat-infested Taiwanese airport. They turn the AC off at 11 p.m. and it is below the Tropic of Cancer. WE WERE ALONE.

Ryan: I wore a string tie to prom. Actually, that was a great choice. Fuck off, haters.

Spencer: I had a choice between buying a Subaru WRX or a Mini Clubman. I took the Clubman because "it looked like a taxi"

Ryan: I dated a woman who only owned books that fit into one of two categories: the "Shopaholic" series or "written by Ann Coulter."

Ryan: (looks around) (crouches) (whispers) I wanted Florida to hire Ty Willingham in 2002.

Spencer: I thought Will Muschamp wasn't a totally bad hire

Spencer: I could have bought some stock in Apple when it was at nothing, and instead chose to take a trip to Paris. IN NOVEMBER.

Spencer: I bought a Dreamcast, thinking "yeah, this shit is forever."

Ryan: Miss u, Crazy Taxi.

Spencer: I chose graduate school and applying to the CIA over, um, "good ideas."

Ryan: Spencer.

Spencer: No I'm not done I got an invitation to apply to Harvard and threw it in the garbage because "I don't want to be cold."

Ryan: That's legit.

Spencer: I had a chance to do an all-access piece in 2007 on a small team going to a big team's stadium to play a football game. I thought it was too expensive and didn't do it, since they weren't going to win anyway. That team was App State and the game was Michigan. I have made bad choices.

Ryan: I was 22 and free to make my own choices. Nobody forced me or pressured me into it. But I did it all the same. I went to law school.

Spencer: Fuck, you win.