THE CURIOUS INDEX: 10/13/2014

WELL WHO RUNS THESE POLLS ANYWAYS. You got the AP Poll, which might as well stand for Assclown Princes for as much respect as the goddanged media gives Florida State. And then you got the Coaches Poll, where Jimbo only gets one vote despite beatin' these other idiots like they cussed in church. That's some "Montana gets two senators" nonsense right there. You think the Noles wouldn't whoop Helena? Come on.

EARLIER EVERY YEAR. You know what the issues surrounding Jameis Winston over the last year need? Draft opinions added to the mix! Now we're sure to sort this out in a smart and thoughtful manner!

DAMN EIGHT BALL FOR HITTING THAT GYPSY. DeShaun Watson's finger surgery will keep him out of Clemson games for an estimated five weeks. The good news for the Tigers is that there's not a whole lot of challenge on the schedule in that timeframe - on the road against Boston College, home against Syracuse, a near-certain Thursday night thrashing of Wake Forest and...oh no.

THE STOIC VOLCANO AWAITS.

DAMN COWARDLY DAWGS. I remember a Georgia football program that wasn't afraid to play tough road games. That would agree to a home and home with Colorado. That Georgia football program doesn't exist anymore. Won't go to Monroe or Lafayette, huh? Disgusting. Truly disgusting.

B1G HEPPIN.

Meanwhile, on Illinois message boards... pic.twitter.com/EuaMJNOo80

— Tom Fornelli (@TomFornelli) October 13, 2014

(nods in silent approval)

ETC. Secret robot space plane! It's actually a crime to *not* steal a prosthetic leg in Philadelphia.