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THE CURIOUS INDEX, 01/07/2014

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GOOGLES "CAN PEOPLE HIBERNATE"

The Star-Ledger-USA TODAY Sports

END SCENE. The victors are here. The vanquished are there. Even those who picked Auburn or said Auburn would hang around probably didn't see the "Auburn jumps out to big lead, FSU crawls back, counterpunch counterpunch counterpunch" coming, so let's all repeat the one absolute rule of college football - it never, ever, ever happens the way you think it's going to.

AND OTHER FINALITIES. We've also got the last polls of the year, in which the garbage, worthless, clearly overrated bullshit SEC has 3 of the top 5 teams. And hey, Notre Dame's ranked, because that's a Pinstripe Bowl you'll tell your children about for decades to come. Mostly when they need to be punished, but still.

A NEW RUMBLING OF BASS. OH Y'ALL THOUGHT YOU COULD KEEP MARKY M DOWN NAH NEVER THAT MA NEVER THAT WE STAYED FULLY ICED LIKE A WEDDING CAKE SNITCHES

AGAIN, NOT FLEETWOOD MAC RELATED. Rumors are building that James Franklin will be offered (or already has been offered) the Penn State job, to which we say "Thunder only happens when it's raining / Vandy, you can always get Bob Davie."

ETC. Archer spoilllllllers. Do not get any ideas, Jurassic Park enthusiasts.