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THE MORNING CONSTITUTIONAL: HOUSTON NUTT STARS IN FROZEN

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GIGGITY BOTARKUS FROZEN HAWG

Chris Graythen

All of us need some heppin' after a hard workout, and Houston's staying strong. Or as he'd say, "STRAWWWNG." You don't know if he's wearing anything behind that cryo-tube, do you? And that's disturbing you, as is the question of whether Houston Nutt has left that tube since the year 2011, and hasn't just been watching film with Ron Zook in the next tube over, occasionally trotting out for short bursts of broadcast television and then back into the cryo tube where he waits, unsleeping, hitting the cellphone to Jimmy Sexton and eyeing the UConn job?

Because that's exactly what he's been doing. And yes, Houston Nutt is totally nude in this picture, shrouded in icy mist and mysteries. So really, the usual Houston Nutt stuff, just minus the hilarious oversigning--unless there are forty-five junior college recruits and academic non-qualifiers in that tube.* We hope he gets a job soon, because the world with Houston Nutt coaching football in it is a richer place, particularly when doing that thing where his undermanned 5-7 team comes out of nowhere and blindsides a sleepy overdog at home.

*There are not forty-five recruits hidden in that tube. There are forty-seven.