THE CURIOUS INDEX, 01/07/2014

THE C IS FOR CENTESIMAL. Bill C.'s 100 Best Games of 2013 is out, and do you know how many times the University of Florida appears on this list? None times, because Bill C. is a nice man who wants us to be happy and forget all about the bad, stupid man who broke all our toys.

GRIMEY! LSU (almost) has a new offensive line coach, Jeff Grimes of former Virginia Tech fame participation. He will either bring a new tough edge to the Tigers in the trenches or destroy a team that was doing just fine without his meddling ways. There is no in between for position coaches, which is why we must Fire Bobo or Build A Bobo Shrine.

FUCK COLLEGE / GET MONEY. 96 players chose to turn down an extra year of college ball and declare themselves eligible for the draft, and the list is full of fun possibilities. Could we make an NFL team solely from this list? If so, would that team beat the 2013 Atlanta Falcons? There is only one way to find out, so help us kidnap Roger Goodell. For science.

POWER IN THE WRONG HANDS. We've already told you about the WhatIfSports simulation machine, and now Paul Myerberg has used it for its darkest possible purpose - the creation of a 16 team tournament that concludes with 2012 UMass crowned worst team of the last decade. WAY TO PICK ON THE NEW KID, JERK.

CONSPIRACY. Josh Harvey-Clemons already missed the Gator Bowl, and now he'll be sitting out Georgia's first three games of next season as part of the same team rules violation. The first team on that schedule? Clemson. And can you turn "Clemons" into "Clemson" with but one moved letter? Yes, yes you can. Your double-agent work is becoming sloppy, Eight Ball.

ETC. "Winslow allegedly said that he was looking for Boston Market but was lost." MAN COME ON THE CHICKEN + CHOKING JOKE IS RIGHT THERE STOP IT KELLEN.