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THE CURIOUS INDEX, 09/09/2013

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NOW WITH ZERO MENTION OF LANE KIFFIN, EXCEPT FOR THIS ONE

Stephen Dunn

ACTUAL TRAGEDY: Hyperbole is an essential element to the college football experience, especially if you're a USC, Texas, or Florida fan this weekend, but what happened to those teams is not capital L loss. UCLA receiver Nick Pasquale was killed Sunday morning when he was hit by a car while walking home, and that, sadly, certainly is. Our thoughts go out to his family and teammates.

THIS IS NOT HOW HYDRAS WORK: Manny Diaz has been relieved of his duties after BYU busted a hole in the Texas run defense that can be seen from space, and here is an excellent account of what happens to a program when a coordinator is dumped midseason. Please note, however, that nowhere does it say "you hire Greg Robinson."

THE YEAR OF QUARTERBACKING DANGEROUSLY. Anthony Boone broke his collarbone. Casey Pachall has a fractured arm. And Munchie Legaux had his kne - actually, no, we're not ready to talk about that injury yet because GOOD LORD.

ETHICS STANDARDS TEAMWORK EGG SALAD. There is a specific, and very vocal, segment of the media that believes Johnny Manziel is one of, if not the most, selfish, cocky, and attention-seeking players in college football history. Naturally, there is only one way to address this: dedicate a camera to follow him, and only him, throughout the entirety of A&M-Alabama.

SEXCRUITIN! There are other aspects of the soon-to-be-released report by Sports Illustrated on alleged misdeeds (at least, NCAA-wise) that took place at Oklahoma State during the Les Miles years, but you are lying if "hostesses in the Orange Pride program providing sex to recruits" is not the one that jumped out to you.

ETC. Fakin' seizures in Memphis / Fakin' seizures after tryin' to hit people with your car just off of Beale. Bielema really knows how to celebrate in the local style.