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Jared Wickerham

MAJOR COACHING NEWS. That's right. After a disappointing start punctuated by an early embarrassing home loss, the former crown prince of college football is gone. Good night, Paul Pasqualoni. And flights of angels sing thee to thy rest.

ALSO THAT OTHER IDIOT IS GONE. Fired at 3 in the morning in a damn parking lot. That might be the coldest breakup ever, and my brother once dumped a girl on her birthday without knowing it was her birthday. Lists of candidates for the job are already being assembled, but come on. You know who the damn general is.

BECAUSE YOU LIKE FUN THINGS. New York's hottest club is this pick six from the Mercer-Drake game.

OH YES WE'VE GOT TROUBLE/HERE IN UNDEFEATED CITY. With a capital T and that rhymes with V and that stands for valued players for Oregon and Ohio State both went down with injuries on Saturday niiiiiiiight.

ANSWER THE QUESTION. It's a simple query, Brian Kelly. Now stop being evasive and give a meaningful answer.

ETC. THIS CRAB LOVES VAMPIRE WEEKEND. "Avoid overconsumption?" I think you're missing the point, friend.