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EVERYONE IS INJURED AND WE ARE ALL DOOMED. Dominique Easley's ACL and medial meniscus are torn, which is a bit more than a tweak, Will Muschamp, but whatever. Florida's made up its own news for the better part of four years now, so why not press the trend until surgical facts change the story. Dominique Easley will be on crutches and bored, so you probably won't want to get near him if you're in Gainesville. (We're not sure why, exactly, but it just sounds like a very bad idea.)

AN AMPED BUD FOSTER ALSO SOUNDS DANGEROUS. Apparently he gets really excited for Georgia Tech, per The Key Play's preview of tonight's game with the Yellow Jackets. Prepare security measures accordingly.

NOPE NOT DUSTY IN HERE AT ALL SHUT UP. Josh Huff's mother once swung a 2x4 at his head in a fit of drug-addled rage, and is currently in jail, and this is all very heartbreaking and worth reading. (Bonus: Scott Frost becoming his foster dad at the program, which is lovely until you remember that Scott Frost really does look like Todd from Breaking Bad, and now we've ruined this story. Sorry.)

MMMM, TEXAS POLITICS. Is the Mack Brown saga tangentially related to the possible impeachment of a Texas official? Oh, you bet it is.

EAT IT, TARP. Oh, son, the modesty tarp at Baylor is coming OFF, because everyone's getting naked for Texas/Baylor including the stadium.

ETC: Please remember that Big Freedia was twerking when you were all in twerkth grade. Goddammit, APD, that's not cool or funny at all.