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Mike Zarrilli

YESSIRRRRRR. Feldman had eight days to hang out with TAMU in their preparation for Alabama, and it is even better than that level of access would indicate. Does everyone on the Aggie staff blast Tribe Called Quest and Rick Ross? (Apparently.) Does Johnny Manziel get along with his teammates despite being Johnny Manziel? (Quite well, actually.) Did Manziel look for Evans on every play? (Yes, and would have got it to him 100 times if he could have.) Does Kevin Sumlin fear helicopter? (Yes, as he should, and even more so at night.) Is this the best college football article written this year? (Yes, and probably won't be equalled for detail, color, and depth.) Read it: even the minor details are awesome.

BREAKING: Oklahoma State remains awesome place to play football.

HOW GOOD IS CLEMSON? Pretty great, but maybe not as good as a three spot in the rankings indicate, per Bill C. The real takeaway from this: Nuk Hopkins was a great college receiver, and even better on third down.

NOW WE ARE VIOLATING PLAYERS' BASIC HUMAN RIGHTS. When they came for my cost-of-attendance adjustment, you said nothing. When they said I had no value as a worker, and was merely a robot given life by the university brand, you said nothing. But when you forbade me from getting GTA V as a gift from a friend? Oh, now, now you understand the full price of amateurism's lies, do you not?

NOOOOOOO NOT MY BABYYYYYYY. This was already plenty disturbing, Freek, but then you had to go full Carol/Sophia with Monte and Lane? HEARTBREAKING. (NSFW because zombie coaches gettin' splatted.)

ETC: Drew decided to finally start "Breaking Bad" the third from the last episode. I'm Ted DiBiase! No, I'm Ted DiBiase! Three million dollars a year for this.