THE CURIOUS INDEX, 07/30/2013

CARRY THAT ONE INTO THE ENDZONE. Shakin' The Southland examines whether faster offense = better offense, using integers and polynomials and other math terms we only barely remember hearing because some of us thought we were going to be rap stars ok?

THE ULTIMATE RAGEQUIT. Come on, EA Sports. Just because the O'Bannon plaintiffs picked off a pass with a linebacker that wasn't even facing, much less looking at, your quarterback doesn't mean you get to just LEAVE.

WE COULD ONLY AFFORD AN ADJECTIVE. That isn't the stated reason why the Big East became the American, of course, but you can't expect full honesty from Mike Aresco at this point. Once the lobster money runs out? Then we'll start hearing the good dirt.

BUT DOES HE HAVE A MEAL PLAN. Mike Dyer may have landed at Louisville, if the registrar's records are a reliable indicator. Alternatively, the Louisville registrar has figured out the best way to strong arm possible transfers. "You've got no classes on Mondays or Fridays and you're in Bowling 2 and a Great Works Of Dolph Lundgren seminar. Think Western Kentucky can match that?"

ITALIAN, BURGERS, MILKSHAKES. Yeah, Terry Bowden was eating pretty much exactly what you thought he was.

ATTENTION J.J. WATT. Mark Richt says Jadeveon Clowney may be the best football player at any level today, but think about how many baseball and basketball players that doesn't include. Does Mark Richt think they're better than Clowney? BULLETIN BOARD MATERIAL.

ETC. They're working together now, and that means we must take extreme measure and ally with the mountain cats. I don't see how this could go poorly.