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DOWN WITH THE RUBBER BAND MAN

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YOU CAN FIND BETTER WAYS TO SHOW US YOU'RE STACKING PAPER

Otto Greule Jr

So here's the thing about posting a picture of yourself holding a copious amount of currency: it's played out. Flaunting wealth is a timelessly American art, of course, but it's important to push the field into new places, not just rely on old tropes from a Ja Rule video. Consider the following alternatives.

1. Buy several dozen bags of tortillas (flour or corn, either works). Write "BITCOIN" on them in permanent marker. Nobody actually knows what bitcoin is, so you can pose with these and those who doubt are just haters.

2. Take a picture in front of your survivalist bunker shelves. Ladies love canned goods.

3. You, sitting on a pile of Italian lira. No longer legal tender due to the transition to the Euro? Or VINTAGE RICHES?

4. Exotic animals. They're not cheap.

5. Holding up the deed in front of the strontium mine your parents got you for your 17th birthday.

6. Sitting on an inner tube atop a swimming pool filled with Legos.

7. Use an expensive item for an inexpensive purpose. For instance, spread cream cheese on a fresh bagel using the corner of an iPad.

8. "Unalchemy," the new Vine craze where you turn gold into iron or lead. Because that's just how loaded you are.