THE CURIOUS INDEX, 07/29/2013

NEVER TROLL A TROLLER. Hey, remember how plenty of folks have been all "JOHNNY MANZIEL IS PLAYING WITH HIS FUTURE AND THAT'S HOW YOU GO BLIND?" And remember how some of those people are media members? Guess who also remembered!

FORTY DOLLARS. That's what the original Star Wars trilogy currently retails for on Amazon, which means Will Muschamp can buy 6,250 copies with the $250,000 raise he got last week. He could also buy 6,250 copies of the prequel trilogy, but that's more of a Greg Davis move. (Dude looooooves podracing.)

SHELL ON EARTH. For Whom The Shell Rolls. The Rushel Shell Overture. Dude, You're Getting A Shell. All of these headlines are free to you, print media employees eager to cover West Virginia's latest transfer acquisition. Take them. We're not going to use them. /continues writing "La Shell Dame sans Merci."

REMEMBER WHO'S IN CHARGE. It hasn't been the best summer for the NCAA. The saber-rattling from several conference commissioners certainly suggests the balance of power is shifting. Perhaps we're seeing an institution crumbling before our very e-BOOM SUCKER THAT'S A HAMMER RAININ' DOWN ON MONTANA DON'T EVER FUCKING QUESTION THIS.

THE COACHING CIRCLE OF LIIIIIIIFE. Auburn is beginning the first step of a journey that culminates in Jay Jacobs introducing newly hired Coach Tuberville at a press conference in 2034. (We're assuming you already knew that Jay Jacobs is blessed/cursed with immortality.)

ETC. There's a reason the man owns the Smart Football domain. MAKE EM SAY UHHHH(SSOCIATE DEGREE). Still not as good as Max Schreck's salsa verde.