clock menu more-arrow no yes

Filed under:

JAMES FRANKLIN, OLYMPIC DISGRACE

New, 758 comments

YOU HAVE SHAMED OUR COUNTRY, SIR

Pascal Le Segretain

"Wow, look at James Franklin jump off that cliff!" I'm sorry, when did we start living in a country where athleticism didn't matter? When did we decide that "subject to the laws of gravity" is a skill?

No, we're not about to start handing out gold medals for falling. Here is your score, Coach Franklin, per the rules of the Fédération Internationale de Natation.

POSITION: 0.0 - Diver failed to perform one of the four competition positions (straight, pike, tuck, or free), instead opting to flail his arms like Kermit the Frog.

SOMERSAULTS: 1.0 - Diver performed no somersaults, nor even hinted at the possibility of somersaults.

TWISTS: 0.0 - Diver said he was "more of a Tootsee Roll man," then proceeded to gyrate inappropriately.

ENTRY: 0.0 - Diver entered the water feet first, which is the equivalent of spitting in this sport's face.

TOTAL DEGREE OF DIFFICULTY: 1.0 - Diver is permanently barred from international competition.