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THE CURIOUS INDEX, 7/2/2013

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NEVER LET FRANK BEAMER SELL YOU FARM EQUIPMENT OR TAKE THE PREGAME COIN

PAWWWLLLL, THE FIX IS IN. Oh, Alabama, so confident are you that you'll roll Virginia Tech to start the 2013 season. One question, however: how can you win a game...that never starts?

The man from Fancy Gap has a thousand tricks up his sleeve, Bama. BEWARE HIS MOUNTAIN WILES.

THANK YOU FOR REMINDING US. The collection of five-star talent that has washed out of Florida without making much of an impact at all is impressive, though we'd clarify that Matt Patchan was an injury case of unusual pedigree: the rare gunshot/scooter accident double survivor.

THREE SENTENCES DOES NOT A LAW MAKE. Or at least not any kind of law likely to uphold the flimsy legal standard currently keeping amateurism alive.

WELL DONE, REFUGEE FANS OF THE BIG EAST. The displaced masses of the ESPN Big East blog just wandered over from Karelia, sat down in the Finland of the empty Stanford blog, and that's how you create a new nation, everyone.

AND THE JAYHAWK RETURNS TO THE KU HELMET. The Jayhawk logo will ride again on the side of at least one of KU's uniform variations this year, per Charlie Weis using Vine in really, really sloppy fashion. The red and blue variations continue to look like something a five year old designed when making "FUTBALL TEEM" pictures, and we mean that as a compliment since five year olds tend to make really simple, loud, and effective football uniform designs.

SURE, WHY NOT. KENTUCKY'S GOIN' 13-0 THIS YEAR, BUDDY.

ETC: Gaelic sounds nice in theory, and then you hear it and it sounds like a thousand king snakes hissing at once. Do, a deer, a female deer, ray,from the SUNNNNNNNNAARRGGHHHHHHHHH.