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OLE MISS JUST PUT A LOCKER ROOM IN YOUR LOCKER ROOM, DAWG

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"ILL JUST TAKE THE STAIRS," SAID HUGH FREEZE NEVER

It was ancient Chinese philosopher Lao Tzu who once said that a journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step. Lao Tzu never took into account the time constraints of an SEC football team at halftime.

Thankfully, the Tao of Hugh Freeze has made up for those incomplete teachings. The Freeze dogma professes that there is only one true speed and there is no time for greed, envy, sloth, huddles or long walks to the locker room. Rejoice, I say again rejoice, for His prophesies have been fulfilled as it now requires much less travel thanks to new renovations to Vaught-Hemingway Stadium that include a locker room just down the hallway from the existing Ole Miss locker room. The Ole Miss reasoning for the redundancy in 10 paces or less:

Six minutes may seem insignificant, but it's a lifetime for distance runners, egg chefs, ab workout instructors, and Hugh Freeze making 2nd half gameplan adjustments.

However, given these developments, Nick Saban will likely make a statement regarding this today at Media Days expressing how concerned he is for the safety of everyone involved in this new hurry-up halftime scheme.

[HT: Coaching Search]