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THE CURIOUS INDEX, 7/11/2013

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THE CURIOUS INDEX ORDERS A CHALOUPKA

Kevin C. Cox

THE CLAPPING IS ETERNAL AND WILL NEVER CEASE. Via Smart Football, the Hatter in his embryonic stages as Oklahoma State's OC in the 1997 Alamo Bowl.

Has Les Miles changed at all since 1997, besides the addition of some hair dye and a few wrinkles around the eyes? He benched his starting quarterback in the third quarter of the bowl game for someone named "Chris Chaloupka," ran the ball almost three times as much as he threw it in his 1997 playcalling, and clapped a lot, so....no. He has not changed at all. P.S. Chaloupkas are the highlight of any Polish-Mexican fusion restaurant's menu.

ADDENDUM. Rob Ryan was also on the OSU staff, and his mullet was fierce, indeed.

AWWWW, LOOK AT THE TRAINING FLIPPERS. Mark Helfrich doesn't seem to be slowing down anything Oregon's doing, which is good because Chip Kelly had the program moving so fast that any braking would send several major parts of the machine flying off in all directions. They might pass more, though, and boy won't that be fun to defend on top of all the hell they already wreak on opposing defenses.

CONGRATS!

That had to be accidental. The default troll move on FSU would be to put "preseason champs" on the side of the ring, but that's a lot of words to fit on a tiny ring. (Check the inside, though, as it may have that engraved in Elvish if you paid really good money for those, FSU.)

SURE, IT'S WEIRD. But it's Utah, a team that has struggled offensively, so why the hell wouldn't you bring in Dennis Erickson as offensive co-coordinator and have him teach the youngster Brian Johnson how to properly mold ye olde singleback offense, and possibly how to bury a car used in an armed robbery in 14 feet of hardpacked Utah soil for future use? (Both Erickson specialties.)

"UM, COACH SABAN, YOUR PACKAGE WAS HELD UP AT THE POST OFFICE." He's gonna be so pissed when he sees how you didn't properly pack all this up, guys.

ETC: Yes, that is how you drive a BMW.