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THE CURIOUS INDEX, 5/7/2013

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THE CURIOUS INDEX SALUTES LOCAL MINERAL-BASED BRANDING

Mark J. Rebilas-US PRESSWIRE

CHARITY UPDATE COMING, BUT THE USUAL SUSPECTS ARE IN THE LEAD.

BECAUSE THERE IS A LOT OF COPPER BENEATH THE SOIL OF ARIZONA. The copper helmets are neat, Arizona, and follow a pattern we'd like to see more: college football teams saluting local industry. USF's uniforms are white because of Florida phosphate mining, and that is something we made up that works anyway and no, it is not because of cocaine. (That's the white in MIami's uniforms.)

ONLY 124 MORE TO GO, PAUL. Georgia State is the first step in Paul Myerberg's long march to starting day, something known as "let obsessive/compulsives like Paul do the work for you while you stand in gape-jawed awe of someone who actually sifted through GSU's depth chart."

SORRY, MOM. Matthew Thomas, a top ten recruit and five star linebacker recruit to Florida State, wants out of Tallahassee after signing with the Seminoles because, in his own words, mom thought "it was a good school." You should really listen to your mother carefully, and we mean that as in "carefully, because Mom has opinions about a lot of things, but not necessarily knowledge of those things."

NO SCHNELLENBERGER, NO JUSTICE. The College Football Hall of Fame--whatever that is--is inducting the greatest college football player we ever saw with our own eyes, Tommie Frazier. That's nice, but without the Derby Don as a member there is no meaning or justice, man.

IMPRESSIVE WORK, PITT. Leave out the Tony Dorsett years, and this may be the peak of Pitt's college football existence.

THAT IS EXCITING. A bit long, but it works for us just fine.

ETC: All 911 calls should start with "ey, bruh."