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MIKE VRABEL ENJOYS TINGLY FEELINGS

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DR. VRABRO SPEAKS THE TRUTH

Hannah Foslien

Mike Vrabel entering coaching has been a blessing to us all. Also, we're not going to argue with him. Mike Vrabel likes Gold Bond Powder, dip, Red Bull, low-maintenance haircuts, beef jerky, and hard-hitting football. If that ain't America, you can kiss his ass. His well-powdered, currently tingling from all that triple-action goodness'd ass.*

*Do not ask Mike Vrabel what "triple-action" means unless you really want to know. It has nothing to do with football, and everything to do with your mother.