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THE CURIOUS INDEX, 5/22/2013

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INVISIBLE ALSHON JEFFERYS EVERYWHERE

Marvin Gentry-US PRESSWIRE

THE LATEST IN A LINE OF FINE FLORIDA THESPIANS.

It's a horrendous line reading, but on the curve of Florida football coaches and ad appearances, Will Muschamp is clearly miles ahead of Urban Meyer here. Not bad performances by the kids, though none approach the dramatic heights of the Ol' Ball Coach himself. (No mortal can. #clickclack)

ALSHON JEFFERY'S INVISIBLE YEARS. Someone please insure that every college football assistant is granted a free edition of Photoshop, and then make sure they are trained just enough to use it very, very poorly, because this is the golden age of things like the floating ghost of South Carolina Alshon Jeffery.

THE DREADED GLEN MASON REFERENCE. Bill C. says Mississippi State isn't in Glen Mason territory yet with Dan Mullen, but that plateauing is a hard conclusion not to reach when looking at their trajectory going into 2012. #sadclanga

NOT MADE IN OHIO NOPE. Ohio would not be the first state we'd openly label as "not being part of the United States," but we do not have the refined sensibilities of a Michigan Man. That state would be South Carolina, which is clearly a chunk of Hispaniola that popped loose and just stuck to the sides of Georgia and North Carolina one day.

HE COULD WRITE THIS EVERY OTHER DAY. Patrick Hruby is either a masochist or well okay he's a masochist, and the proof is being willing to document every single stupid/hypocritical/asinine thing the NCAA does every day. It's a big job, but someone has to do it.

TOLEDO ROCKETING AWAY FROM SOBRIETY. Toledo is considering becoming really cool and selling beer at games. There may be profit motive to this, but mostly it's about the ladies and being cool.

ETC: Sure, Urban Meyer's seems accurate. TV. TV? TV! Watch TV. Sports. Sports. Television? TV.