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Kevin C. Cox

THE MEANEST OF THE MEAN. We were talking about this field goal yesterday, so now we're going to talk about it to remind you that Paul Johnson is a mean sonofabitch.

Please remember that this field goal was technically against the rules, and involved a confused saunter to the line by the field goal unit before Demaryius Thomas stepped onto the field late and just over the boundary, and then casually trotted out uncovered for a TD. Confused Dabo Swinney, you are our favorite visual mantra, especially on a play that turned out to be pretty important in an eventual 30-27 Clemson loss to Georgia Tech. (Perhaps he was thinking of East Bogo Community College and their potent offense at the time.) (Let's find out who East Bogo Community College is.)

NEVER SLEEP ON EAST BOGO COMMUNITY COLLEGE. Our google alerts must be malfunctioning, because we swore we had alerts for all EBCC football news.

"When you only have 12 games and you work hard for those 12, it doesn't matter who the name is, whether it's Pitt or East Bogo Community College," he said.

That's Dabo Swinney, respecting the crap out of East Bogo Community College, which is secretly the state's designation for Pitt and their football team. (It is also the kingdom Dabo rules over in his mind.)

A SEVEN YEAR DOWNWARD TREND WITH ONE REALLY BIG SPIKE. The trend at Auburn over the past seven years has been horrendous save for that one Cam Newton-sized leap to a title in 2010, so Bill C says not to expect miracles immediately from Gus Malzahn. Another fun note: Auburn fans can honestly say they had the least successful passing game in the country last year, mostly because numbers and facts back them up on that statement. (P.S. Alabama fans, go ahead and say Nick Saban's responsible for that seven year trend, ignore 2010, and then do a country jig atop a pile of expensive broken crystal.

UTEP HAS CUSTARD. Eddie Custard, just one of the many people on the Miners' roster who will have to cry, laugh, and mostly cry through Sean Kugler's first season as UTEP's head coach. Jameill Showers is their quarterback, though, if you'd like to see an SEC-quality quarterback transfer from TAMU run for his damn life most of the year.

EVERYONE IS NOT IN FACT GOING TO USF. Showers became the 38th quarterback to not transfer to USF along with Arkansas' Brandon Mitchell, who joins Dave Doeren's new staff at NC State. USF still needs a quarterback, and also any snacks you'd like to send along because some people love transfer quarterbacks, but everyone loves snacks.

ETC: Well, sure, that's a necessary editor's note on a story about killer robots.