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THE CURIOUS INDEX, 5/10/2013

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BURN IT ALL DOWN, EVEN IF KENNY CHESNEY'S JUST A WHITE MAN LIVING IN THE SOUTHLAND

BURN IT DOWN. Now that noted fan of your team Kenny Chesney has played there, we cannot lobby hard enough for the immediate destruction of Williams-Brice Stadium. Garnet and Black Attack cover the innumerable reasons for this, but mostly because Kenny Chesney is the outbreak monkey of bad football fortune, and you're gonna want to burn everything he touched. (Also, South Carolina could get a stadium that's actually sort of close to the university, but to to hell with the practical. Chesney quarantine procedures must begin immediately.)

HIS SHIT, THERE IS NO TIME FOR IT. Niiiiiiiiiiiick Saban! (3:30 mark or so)

Bob's a great coach, and Nick Saban really respects what they do, as well as other teams and what they do in the Big 12, but kiss his ass, Bob Stoops, and say hello while you're doing it.

MOVE YOUR TEE TIMES. If UGA students don't start showing up for games on time and leaving big blank spaces in the upper deck, then they may see their seats taken away from them and sold at a higher, more profitable price to non-students have the privilege of watching Georgia football at discounted rates taken from them. That's a shame, because they might miss the Bulldogs pulling the Longest Yard offense against Jadeveon Clowney this year.

DAN MULLEN HAS MOTHER'S DAY SAVED. Dear Mom, Don't take anything Gene Chizik sends you in a box, love, Dan Mullen. (P.S. It's probably "cheating," or maybe a terrifying picture of his lipless, toothless visage. Love, Dan.)

IDAHO FOOTBALL? It still exists, though existence is a term covering a lot of things that aren't necessarily what you'd define as "living."

ETC: Sorry, busy, going to France. This is an old interview with DJ Paul, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't read about him praying over a beverage with the reporter. Bryan Curtis went to a Marlins game in 2013.