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REJOICE FOR HE HAS RISEN!

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I SAY AGAIN REJOICE!

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Easter may have come and gone but you non-believers didn't look hard enough in that empty tomb because somewhere in it's depths, Paul Finebaum was just waiting for the right moment to reveal himself to the people once again. Risen, sins washed away by the blood of yet another alleged Auburn impropriety, and ready to deliver his message to the people in their most dire time of need.

Some will say that his resurrection was a myth, a collection of convenient coincidences and complicit witnesses, but I saw him with my own two eyes, there in flesh (or at least via phone). He walks with me and he talks with me, and when in my moments of doubt, I look back onto the sands of Alabama's emerald beaches and see only one set of footprints, he says to me in the most condescending of tones, "thats when I carried you."

Amen and Roll Tide.