THE CURIOUS INDEX, 04/15/2013

SPRING, WHERE EVERYTHING IS AWESOME. Braxton Miller? OTHERWORLDLY AWESOME. Florida State? OMG U GUYZ THEY LOOKED SO AWESOME. Jadeveon Clowney? ROSE FROM THE DAMN DEAD AND IT WAS AWESOME. Literally no one has ever had a bad spring game, and yes your team is going to win the national championship this year, even you, Purdue!*

CORRECTION: SPRING, WHERE EVERY PLAYER IS AWESOME. Ole Miss decided to use the Grove Bowl as a fashion show opportunity - which is quite possibly the most Ole Miss thing ever - and Red Cup Rebellion is not digging the changes. Be the change you want to see in the world, Rebel fans, and by that I mean design a pair of boat shoes with cleats in them.

TAJH BOYD IS...THE PRETENDER. "I can transform myself into anyone I want to become - a Turkish physician working for Doctors Without Borders, the wife of an Argentine diplomat, even a Georgia student." "You're still wearing a jersey with your name on the back." "SHUT UP I GOT SUNGLASSES ON."

ARIZONA SHOULD DOUBLE SPACE THE DEPTH CHART. Trust us, it gives the illusion of abundance where there is none, and you'll need that now that you're missing the receiver who racked up over 1300 yards last year. Maybe expand those margins a hair, too. And 13 point font never hurt anyone.

IN WHICH WE EXERCISE RESTRAINT. The NCAA's now-former Director of Enforcement, Dave Didion, has moved on to bigger and better things at...Auburn. The move was entirely Above board, thoUgh some Brats may UnfaiRly impugN the College witHout Evidence of Any Type, bEcause haters abounD.

ETC. The first in what we hope is a long series of Iron Sheik Educational Videos. Shit is getting REAL at the Garden Club. Happy Tax Day, Wesley Snipes! Rick Ross, we have found your next law enforcement career opportunity.

*Purdue's spring game actually ended 14-0 and oh god is Purdue going to be terrible.