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WOOFUS AND GROWLANT

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LESSONS IN COMPORTMENT FOR GROWING BOYS AND GIRLS

UConn has a shiny new logo, possibly meant to fool opponents into thinking a disembodied wolf head is coming straight at them. (Previous incarnations featured a disembodied wolf head looking off to the side like "hey an albino squirrel cool.") But it's been a long journey for Connecticut's mascot, from his beginnings in 1959 as the boorish Woofus to 2013's more mature and polite Growlant:

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WOOFUS comes home and leaves his shoes strewn all over the living room, despite repeated requests to not be such a slob.

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GROWLANT promptly puts his shoes in the freezer when he walks in the door.

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WOOFUS shoplifts from his local grocery store repeatedly, despite being caught and prosecuted several times.

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GROWLANT is respectful to local businesses and steals from a variety of shops to keep from bankrupting any individual owner.

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WOOFUS loses to Rutgers 20-8.

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GROWLANT loses to Rutgers 19-3.

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WOOFUS floats from job to job and blames his boss for every firing.

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GROWLANT went to law school and makes $18 an hour as a medical transcriptionist.

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WOOFUS doesn't know that the Yankee Conference is doomed for eventual dissolution.

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GROWLANT wants to know who he has to blow to get an invitation from the ACC.

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WOOFUS is a simpleton who is regularly taken in by con men.

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GROWLANT somehow forced Michigan to schedule a game in Connecticut.

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WOOFUS is a bad role model who doesn't provide for his children.

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GROWLANT got Randy Edsall paid, son.