THE NEW CAL LOGO IS SOMETHING

That's a pretty spankin' new alternate logo, Cal. There's a lot to like about it: it's fierce, it's ursine, it's got a giant, California-sized font befitting the flagship university of the state and its periodically competitive football team. ROWR! Just look at it! It's practically mauling a toddler as we speak.

But most importantly it doesn't appear to have a single hidden penis in it. Why, we challenge you to find one single way to turn this beastly and impressive new bit of design into anything remotely offensive or juvenile, internet! Why, it's damn near---

--DAMMIT.