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THE CURIOUS INDEX, 3/15/2013

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THE CURIOUS INDEX IS YOUR NEXT AMERICAN IDOL

Scott Halleran

JIM MORA'S OFFSEASON: ALL AMERICAN IDOL, ALL THE TIME. Even coaches need distractions, and Jim Mora's comes through the power of overly emoted song.

Lane Kiffin doesn't know who Aubrey is, but she sucks by default, and he needs your phone to make the call for literally anyone else in the competition. No, he needs your phone, because um he left his somewhere or something whatever shut up and give Lane Kiffin your phone bro that's the tax for hanging with the Laner, bitch.

WE SWEAR THE SEC NETWORK IS HAPPENING. Allegedly in mid-April now, per the EXCLUSIVE from Pat Forde. If they show old games all day we are done and it has been nice knowing you as people and citizens. Also, the SEC Media Days schedule came out, and to our disappointment the words "Robbie Caldwell talks about inseminating turkeys" does not appear anywhere in it.

FURTHER TWITTER FOLLIES. James Franklin wasn't tweeting at anyone in particular about losing a specific commit to Tennessee, even though this would be a very, very James Franklin thing to do. Watch your subtweets, captains of the internet deep.

THERE'S NOT MUCH TO DO IN NEBRASKA. When you have to make up your own puzzles, yeah, you were probably headed for the Big Ten the whole time, Nebraska. Oh yeah, well, what is there to do in Auburn, man? Killing wildlife, and occasionally things that aren't wildlife, that's what, Big Ten fan. <---especially in Baton Rouge <----police with bows and arrows because guns are too easy

ETC: Lol 2 bad we sent teh SW@t t3am to ur hou5e pwn3d. The Jurassic Park theme bred raptors.