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THE CURIOUS INDEX, 3/1/2013

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MANGINO BACK

LOOK WHO BACK. Mark Mangino is going to join the coaching staff at Youngstown State, his first coaching gig since Kansas and the best match between mascot and coach since gopher-y Jerry Kill took over the Minnesota job. We welcome back Marky M, and the exploding office walls that will result from his thunderous re-entry into college football.

IT COULD BE THAT 40 TIMES ARE NOT VERY ACCURATE IN HIGH SCHOOL. At almost every level and in almost every case, athletes in the NFL combine tallied 40 times significantly higher than their reported high school 40 times. Yes, even Landry "Lightningass" Jones.

When will we stop using that GIF? Never. Never, ever, ever.

RELATED TO LIGHTNING SPEED. Tavon Austin really has always been satanically quick, just with greater and even more unfair differentials between him and his pursuers.

WE JUST GIANT FOOT AND DIAMONDS OKAY UNC-- No idea, UNC. No idea whatsoever. We see that foot outline, and we just start thinking about Barefoot Wine and ice cream shaped like feet.

THE NEXT JADEVEON CLOWNEY, OR AT LEAST SOMETHING ELSE TERRIFYING AND NOT OF THIS EARTH. His last name is Hand, and that means his nickname is already some image of divine vengeance.

ETC: Hey, look at you, Pinellas County, all fancy with your fluoridated water and stuff. I knew you were GUMBEL GUMBEL GUMBEL GUMBEL. Oh my god beaaaaaaaaaaaars.