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THE CURIOUS INDEX, 2/21/2013

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A TIME TO KILL IS HERE, MADISON

Mary Langenfeld-USA TODAY Sports

THERE IS ALWAYS A TIME TO HUNT, WARRIOR. You know you've played way too much Far Cry 3 when you read this, sigh, and immediately get the urge to raise a laser-sighted bow at your prey.

If there is indeed the Most Dangerous Game afoot in Madison, we suggest not doing what we do in the aforementioned video game and attempting to win whole firefights with molotov cocktails and a compound bow. Yeah, it'll get you style points, but there's no way in hell you're winning it all fighting like that. (Big Ten Metaphors, ahoy!)

OWLCATRAZ REMAINS REAL. FAU'S new stadium sponsor, the Geo Group, aka your friends in the booming private prison industry, attempted to turn their Wikipedia entry into a PR statement, even using "We" and "our" like they were, we dunno, writing a college football blog or something.

For all the controversy over the stadium naming deal, there's probably no way in hell FAU's giving up that money even with a petition out to keep the Geo Group's name off the stadium. Six million dollars is a shitload of money for any program, and especially so for tiny FAU and, yeah, their stadium named after a company that imprisons people for profit, and in theory would like to have as many people in jail as possible for their bottom line.

NCAA MOMENT OF EXCELLENCE. Just helping promote amateurism by fucking up lives one facet at a time.

THIS COUCH FEELS SO GOOD, MAN. The Rocky Mountain High of college football couches may have to be transported to the Colorado football offices, since we heard they need chairs for their meeting rooms.

GIVE THE MAN HIS RECRUITING STICK. Ron Zook for Huskers recruiting? GIVE THE MAN FIVE RED BULLS AND A CELLPHONE AND LET HIM BURN, HUSKERS. (Don't let him do much else. BUT LET HIM IN ANYWAY.)

ETC: Fuck Paterno truthers. Dan Shanoff sounds a lot more sanguine at 40 than we will.