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THE CURIOUS INDEX, 02/18/2013

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I SPEND JAPAN YEN ATTEND MAJOR EVENTS

nola.com

GEORGIA FALLS JUST SHORT OF SCORING. In the Fulmer Cup, that is, where Alec Ogletree's DUI could have counted had it taken place two months ago. If you're asking how such a promising NFL Draft entrant managed to do this just before the Combine, there are a lot of possible answers, but the shortest is "his agent is Pat Dye's son."

MICHIGAN STATE'S OFFENSIVE COORDINATOR IS OUT. Dan Roushar got himself a fancy NFL job, which is sort of like the head of science curriculum for Tennessee public schools being promoted to NASA. In related news, cable carriers in New Orleans do not offer the Big Ten Network.

THIS IS HOW MUCH WE'RE NOT TALKING ABOUT BASKETBALL. Josh Nunes will miss Stanford's spring practices with an undisclosed workout-related injury, which could be any one of the following:

- Tried to use the rower with his teeth instead of his hands

- Workout jeans caught in adjustable seat of shoulder press machine and ripped

- Elliptical horseplay

- Improper positioning in adductor machine

- Spent all day doing preacher curls, no leg work at all

THE UNIVERSITY OF SOUTH FLORIDA GOT YOU THIS LOVELY PALQUE: See, when they misspell something on it, you only pay 50% of the original price, and that's just good Athletic Departmentin'.

ETC. "The victim was wearing a lottery t-shirt during the explosion." Barry Switzer has no interest in your science, Science. PRESIDENTS DAY FOREVER. This still can't be THAT much worse than First Take. Once they disable our vehicles, the bunnies will move on the Pentagon.