THE CURIOUS INDEX, 12/2/2013

FUTURE HEADLINES. Expect this sometime in the second half of 2014. "The Will Muschamp era came to an end today, as Florida decided to fire their head coach after it turned out he was an illiterate Spanish Fighting Bull named Langosta, because it doesn't matter who your offensive coordinator is when Langosta is in charge of the team."

WE WILL SEE YOU IN THE FIVE FACTOR ONE DAY. Sure, things are not SUPER awesome at Nebraska right now overall, but they did just sign a 310 pound defensive tackle named "Terrell Clinkscales," so that's gotta be an upward trend.

FREE COACHO TO GOOD HOME. Ok, that's a misleading statement. USC isn't looking to give Orgeron the head spot, but they are interested in keeping him on as an associate head coach. Why would whoever takes this job be cool with that? He's had a taste of power. He'll eventually rise up against you.

TODD GRAHAM HAS NEVER TAKE THE EASY ROAD. He'll likely be without the services of Marion Grice in the Pac-12 Championship, though Grice was pretty effectively contained by Stanford the last time around, so maybe this "injury" is all part of Graham's plan to win the conference, win the Rose Bowl, and then take the Alabama job.

HAPPY FUCKIN' TRAILS. Dave Christensen is out at Wyoming, bound for a life riding the rails because he'd have to be crazy to get on a commercial flight now. Delta ain't hiring pilots from the Coast Guard Academy, Dave.

ETC. Oh hell, just one more time: