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THE CURIOUS INDEX, 11/8/2013

IF A TREE FALLS IN THE FOREST IT MAKES A NOISE AND IT IS THE SOUND OF A DUCK DYING

By Spencer Hall
Bob Stanton-USA TODAY Sports

NERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRDS.

The stairs were the last insult, per Dan Wetzel's excellent gamer from Palo Alto, but Godfrey got loose in the crowd and found the band, wine-laden tailgates, and wary undergraduates making sure that no one takes pictures of things that might keep them from holding public office later. He also declined a keg stand, something he'll have explicit instructions to DO next time he's out in the field, because decorum is for debutante balls, columnists without talent, and white dudes from Gwinnett County who have real strong feelings about bat flips.

WE'D CALL IT A BIG GAME BOB MOMENT BUT SOMETIMES YOU JUST GET HAMMERED BY A BETTER TEAM EVEN IF THAT TEAM IS BAYLOR. The bad news is that they lost Tevin Reese until the bowl game to a wrist injury, taking away the team's leading receiver. The good news is that they still hammered Oklahoma, and did so playing their third-string running back most of the time. Blake Bell is doing something on the football field, and it occasionally resembles football. (P.S. That is not his fault, since it's hard to tell what OU wants to do offensively at all, and certainly wasn't helped by Ahmad Dixon going haywire for Baylor's defense all night.)

IT'S GOOD TO WANT THINGS. USC is interested in Kevin Sumlin, and it's nice to be interested. James Franklin is another target for them, allegedly, and that, sir, has real, live legs.

THE BATTLE OF UPPER ALABAMA VS. LOWER ALABAMA. Regardless of what happened last night, FSU v. Alabama is looking more and more likely, if you like a matchup that Bass Pro Shops will be DEEPLY interested in from several angles.

UNRESIGNED! It's a thing you can do, per Carl Pelini's brain.

ETC: Man did you ever play the game how can you know what goes on in a locker room oh wait. Camus was the fucking coolest human ever. Per Rick Muscles, FSU fans are huge fans of toilet wine, and need good recipes for it. Susan Shepard on reunions, or why you never go back to Memphis. IMPORTANT STOCK TIPS.