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THE CURIOUS INDEX, 11/25/2013

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JOHN HEISMAN WAS THE ORIGINAL DUDE

Tommy Gilligan-USA TODAY Sports

PLAYOFFS. FCS has them, and the accompanying brackets are now available. As always, we will be rooting for South Dakota State, because not everyone has the courage to pick a jackrabbit as a mascot. (Secondarily, we will also be rooting for Towson to ease UConn's pain.)

A STRATEGIC ERROR. Alabama has fired the strength and conditioning coach who loaned money to Ha Ha Clinton-Dix earlier this year, and, if you're Auburn, you go hire this guy right away and learn every secret you can about your opponent, like what kind of protein shakes they like least. You've already lost, Nick Saban.

KENTUCKY RUINS EVERYTHING. Georgia had no trouble beating the Wildcats, but the win seems pretty unimportant after finding out that a torn ACL has ended Aaron Murray's Bulldog career. It's an unfortunate way to see one of the best quarterbacks in SEC history go out, and we wish Murray a speedy recovery so that he can get drafted by an NFL team which we can then root against. The Steelers, for instance.

WAR DAMN LANHAM ACT. PAWL I JUST DON'T KNOW WHY COACH MALZAHN'S SO CONCERNED ABOUT HIS INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY HOW MUCH CAN AN ARKANSAN BRAIN BE WORTH ANYWAYS

GIVE THE HEISMAN TO A DUDE. We support Andre Williams for college football's most over-argued award, primarily so we can see Steve Addazio running through Times Square, drunk and nude in equal parts. And that's before he has to sit through Mamma Mia without being allowed onstage.

ETC. Owls are nature's ninjas.