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THE CURIOUS INDEX, 11/21/2013

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NIU BIDS YOU A RUDE GOOD MORNING

NIU WOULD LIKE TO HIT YOU IN THE FACE. With two of their top receivers last night, NIU just set the controls for smash and didn't relent, running Jordan Lynch and running back Cameron Stingily for 364 yards, and introducing you to Stingily, who we like to pronounce as "sting-i-lee" to reinforce how much it hurts trying to tackle him. There were dog high-fives a-plenty, and someone got suplexed, so all in all a superb night.

THE TALLAHASSEE PD APPEARS TO BE A PARAGON OF SOUTHERN LAW ENFORCEMENT. Since now, 11 months after the case was first reported, it's being confirmed that DNA tests have linked Jameis Winston to the complainant in the ongoing investigaton/clusterfuck over a sexual assault complaint involving the FSU quarterback. A DNA test does not mean charges are going to be filed, or that they won't: It just puts him at the scene, and establishes material evidence that some kind of sexual encounter (consensual or not) did take place.

If you wonder when the TPD is going to stop looking bad, consider that the DA in the case was made aware of everything you currently know about the case about three days before the story broke, and eleven months after the complaint was filed. Consider that the DA does not get along with the police department, and was not supported by them in the last election, and was thrown into their incompetence at the last second when TPD threw the case upstairs at the last minute once the press started filing records requests. Consider that the DA for Leon County has zero incentive--whether Winston is charged or not-- to not help out every last bit of incompetence demonstrated by the Tallahassee police department, and make them look as bad as possible. Consider that the Tallahassee Police Department doesn't need much help doing that, and according to the victim's family, may have threatened the complainant by mentioning Winston's status as a star football player in a football-mad town. (Allegations denied by TPD last night.) Consider that no one's really sure whether the victim wanted the case to continue earlier this year, including the police and the DA.

There may be a miserable story to be written here about what may or may not have happened to a young woman. There is also definitely a story about a city's law enforcement community eating itself in a fight over grudges, incompetence, and power.

OH BOY, ANOTHER COURT STORY. The NCAA continues to expand your understanding of what constitutes asshole behavior.

FEELINGS REQUIRE RANDOM IMAGERY. The random feelings collage for Duke football--real, live, and successful Duke football--is a thing of wonderment.

WHY THE HELL WOULDN'T YOU? Bring on the Cats went back and charted the 2003 Big 12 Title game, and Ell Roberson had a much better night than we even remembered. Why, one could just watch the whole thing, if someone could just post the whole thing on Youtube. That'd be amazing, wouldn't it?

OH HO HO HO HO HO. Please, please, please let LSU and BYU meet on a football field, and more importantly in the stands. PLEAAAAAAAASE.

ETC: Rob Ford, why is everything you do covered in splendor?