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NUDE SKATEBOARDING AND AGGIES: IT HAPPENED

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"KATIE! KATIE COME HERE! IT'S JOHNNY AND HE'S GOT HIS HEISMAN OUT"

Matthew Emmons-USA TODAY Sports

1. Of all the campuses one might expect to find a naked skateboarder on, or even would posit the theoretical existence of a naked skateboarder in and around, Texas A&M is in the bottom five. The other four, with TAMU being five, and in descending order down to the least hospitable campus for nude ollies: Alabama, Baylor, Notre Dame and BYU.

2. Of all the things on would not want to do: be that naked skateboarder, and then be confronted by someone who didn't like people walking on the grass, much less gliding nude through the hallowed arbors of Aggieland with his Reveille on full parade for all to see and riding the devil's dolly of distraction.

3. Johnny Manziel looks thin.

4. WAIT WHAT IF THAT'S A BRO T-1000 EVERYONE RUNNNNNNN HE'S THERE TO KILL THE FUTURE. "I need your clothes, your motorcycle, and your Bud Ice."