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THE CURIOUS INDEX, 11/12/2013

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THE PEOPLE HAVE SPOKEN

THE PEOPLE HAVE SPOKEN. This is what democracy looks like.

Well, at least he's number one at something.

ALMOST BORING. That's a key qualifier with Alabama, who is almost tedious in their degree of domination of opponents. We didn't even watch the fourth quarter on Saturday night, and only missed Zach Mettenberger's horrific Lt. Dan crawl off the field, which in retrospect was something we were totally okay missing entirely.

Yeahhhhhh.

RELEVANT TO THE TOPIC OF INSANELY TOUGH QUARTERBACKS. Marcus Mariota says he's good to play against Utah, and that his knee isn't an excuse, and if we know Marcus Mariota as we think we do this means the knee is just bone grinding on bone held together by staples and superglue.

COME ACROSS THIS RAVINE WE DARE YOUWe'd like it if Alabama and Auburn were this close just to watch even more extravagant attempts to differentiate one fanbase from the other. It'd be like the Butter Battle Book, but with actual casualties.

CLEARLY THE GREATEST SPORTS STORY EVER WRITTEN. "It was one great, grim, savage battle under a blazing sky, in an ampitheater rimmed with maniacs--that's what it was." (Note: very similar to Andy Griffith's classic in the ending.)

ETC: The CFL has the best twists of fate. We don't even know where to start with this, or end, but it is amazing. We don't believe a damn word of this entire story because LSU fans would shoot for the chest or head.