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THE CURIOUS INDEX, 10/23/2013

LET'S GET BEAUTIFUL BACK THIS SATURDAY AMERICA

Dale Zanine-US PRESSWIRE

TODD GURLEY IS A PARAGON OF MALE BEAUTY. Aaron Murray is comfortable enough in his masculinity to say it.

"Beautiful as always," said Murray, asked after practice how Gurley looked. "I was looking at him and I was like, 'goodness, gracious that dude is huge.' I mean he's a pretty sucker to look at.

Still not as good as Hayden Fry saying he started a guy because he liked the way he looked coming out of the shower, but it'll do, Aaron Murray. (P.S. Todd Gurley is truly objectively beautiful, particularly when making linebackers swoon with jukes.)

DAMN YOU, SHOWER FLOOR, WE'RE TRYING TO MAKE THE GAME SAFER.

FEEEEEEEL LIKE A WINNER. BRILES BRILES BRILES BRILES BRILES BRILES BRILES BRILES POINTS BRILES.

IT'S BILL O'BRIEN'S BIRTHDAY! And Bill O'Brien should never, ever wear a party hat.

INEPT IS A WORD THAT MEANS FLORIDA. Apparently some changes have to be made to the juggernaut Florida offense, per the head coach whatever his name is oh god this is all real and still happening---

DAWWWWW DAD STUFF. Don't ever have kids, because you will never be able to look at a football player again without thinking all the stuff tight ends coach Barry Lunney, Jr. says about them being someone's former five year old.

ETC: Cinderella is a word used by TV executives to sell more TV. We really do need to get Triumph the Insult Comic Dog at SEC Media Days.