Think about it: can you PROVE Will Muschamp is literate? Have you ever seen him reading anything in public? Don't you think it's weird that he always asks the waiter "what's good here?" Even at a pizza buffet? What if Will Muschamp's just a horse? A surprisingly well-dressed, housebroken, emotionally unstable horse? Would you trust Will Muschamp to babysit your kids? What about your riding mower? What about just a computer printout of a riding mower?
(We're losing it. It's not fun. This is your second open thread. Get away from us before you catch this disease.)