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THE CURIOUS INDEX, 8/18/2013

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GOBAMA

GO BAMA GOBAMA G OBAMA. Read the words. Crack the code. See the signs, sheeple.

We've been looking at this for at least ten minutes and can't stop laughing, so thank you for being the hive that never gets unkicked, Alabama.

THE ONLY PREVIEW YOU NEED. It features Clemson fans literally throwing up garbage onto the field.

Screen_shot_2013-10-18_at_10

So yes, watch it. (Though we prefer them in Chinese for comedy's sake.) For more Clemson hilarity, read about Dabo being really concerned about falling down that hill.

YOU'VE GOT TO HAVE SOMETHING IN YOUR BOWELS.

"To do that on the road you have to have something in your bowels," Golden said.

That's a factually correct statement, we guess. Meanwhile, the other side of the equation is North Carolina having something in their bowels, and then releasing that material into their beds late in the fourth quarter. Turning a crucial 3rd and 1 late into 3rd and 11 with penalties, and then throwing a late, game-destroying interception? That's a proper voiding right there, a veritable karmic colonic, Tarheels.

IN THE BIG TEN LINEBACKER KICKS YOU. Wisconsin has a linebacker who can kick 45 yard field goals, because in the Big Ten everything and everyone is convertible to field goals in some way, shape, or form.

IN FASCINATING RECRUITING NEWS. Recruits will be able to sign as early as August 1st, in case you wanted your hat fakes spread throughout the year.

DOUG'S FEELING GOOD. Let's welcome back the manic-depressive preview, aka the part where Vandy beats Georgia and makes Doug listen to (more) Morrissey.

ETC: Shut up that's not funny okay it is but we did it too and bullwhips are still awesome.