On October 12, 2013, at 15:09, this officer observed one GARY ROBIN PINKEL on the grounds of Sanford Stadium. PINKEL appeared to be intoxicated, refusing to move the ball even after several commands from this officer. When asked what he was doing at the location, PINKEL mumbled "gonna get that job in tampa bay [incomprehensible] buy a whole wine cellar." This officer, with assistance, attempted to move PINKEL, who became belligerent and threatened to "double pass the sh*t outta you cops." Officers retrieved a cell phone belonging to PINKEL found thrown two yards behind the line of scrimmage and, with his consent, attempted to find a personal contact on it who could retrieve him. The only number found in the cell phone belonged to the Home Depot Customer Service Department; a call to that number revealed PINKEL's number had been blocked.
PINKEL was released without being charged.
This is your second open thread. There is no law in the SEC East anymore, so go crazy. (Not you, Kentucky. Never you.)