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THE CURIOUS INDEX, 10/11/2013

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YOU CALL HIM A DECOY. WE CALL HIM A WEAPON WAITING TO BE USED.

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YOU TRIED, #74. You really did.

Louisville won anyway, and he's a clear decoy on the play, but somewhere in his heart 74 REALLY wanted the ball.

DEMS THE COOOOOKIES WHATGOTTA VICTREE IN DEM.

The Orgeron won his first game as head coach at USC last night, and oh flaming Satan's toe fungus that's a real sentence. Ed Orgeron really is the head coach at USC, and is now the coolest substitute teacher ever for the next three months, just hollering and cookie-bribing his way into his players loving him. And you're saying there's a chance, Pat Haden? Well, you could just make the astronauts welders, Michael Bay, but we can't tell you how to make a movie, man.

MATH REMAINS DIFFICULT FOR TEXAS. Don't let Oklahoma school you on math, Longhorns. (They are good at counting to fifty, though. SWITZER'D.) 

EASY CALL IS TACO TIME ALL THE TIME. Dan's picking Florida in this week's Easy Call, which is great, and eating delicious tacos, which we will steal from him immedaitely

THAT'S AN EFFORT. It's a nice effort, but UGA and LSU are like, so much better at this than we are that it's not funny at this point. The diving gator at the end is a quality touch, though.

YOU MIGHT HAVE LOST TO USF. But hey, the sun rises every morning, and you're not being sued for investment fraud. Did you give money to a "hedge fund managed (in part) by Tommy Tuberville?" Presumably a judge feels as we do that you deserve to have your money taken from your foolish, trembling hands.

ETC: Baseball gets so sexy this time of year, and yet so childlike and innocent.