LAST DANCE WITH LANDRY JONES

OREGON OFFENSIVE COORDINATOR MARK HELFRICH: We weren't originally recruiting him at Colorado. Hawkins was sending me to New Mexico every other weekend to bring envelopes of cash to his "other family." I didn't ask or judge, because it wasn't my place. Then I found out the apartment I'd been leaving the money at just had a bunch of mannequins inside set up in bodybuilder poses.

But yeah, Landry. Real talented kid.

SUBJECT IN A MARGARET BOURKE-WHITE PHOTO: "For '37 we had nothing. Our lunch was the wind. Our breakfast was the dust. There weren't no dinner. I could hear Daddy's heart break at night. It made a noise a lot like the weevils crawlin' on the tin roof of our sod house. We left for California in '38 and never looked back. Weren't nothing to look back for. I guess Landry Jones is fine. Never met him. Probably never will."

DETROIT LIONS WIDE RECEIVER RYAN BROYLES: LJ was always big on film study. The coaches had to get overtime approved for the security guys because he'd be there so late. I tried to sit in with him once, just to see what it was like, but that's just not me. Iron Eagle starts to get real stale after four viewings.

BARRY SWITZER: I like him. I like him a lot. Once, when we were out on the flats outside Tulsa just loose and lookin' for something to do, he looked at me and said, "Barry, you think a man could eat a barn? Like that barn, right down to the nails?" I'll be damned if he didn't do it, too, nested owls and all. Oh, Landry Jones? I thought you were asking about Wayne Coyne. I like Landry just fine.

GARY BUSEY: F-E-N-T-A-N-Y-L. Fentanyl and I do not want to hear you ask me if I have a prescription, butthorn. Now gimme your keys.

MATT O'HANLON: Brave kid. In that 2009 game, after I got my second interception, he walked over and gave me a hug. I said, "You know we're not on the same team, right?" He just smiled and said "We still all get a pizza party." I still can't figure out if he knew I was playing for Nebraska.

PICKLES STOOPS, INMATE K-81773, WILLIAM KEY CORRECTIONAL CENTER: WHY WON'T YOU BELIEVE ME I AM THE REAL MIKE STOOPS THAT MAN YOU HAVE ON THE SIDELINE IS MY DERANGED TWIN YOU HAVE TO STOP HIM

DARRIN COSGOOD, LIFELONG OKLAHOMA FAN: You can't blame the kid. He's done nearly everything we could have asked - played hurt, never blamed another player, always did the program proud. Problem's with the leadership. We need to fire Coach Bob because he can't win the big one. Then we need to hire Coach Bob back because he's the best damn coach in the world BOOMER SOONER BOOMER SOONER BOOMER SOONER BOOMER SOO(collapses)

KEVIN WILSON, INDIANA HEAD COACH: Landry never let the criticism get to him, because he knew the team had his back. That wasn't always a good thing though. I remember one day after a sloppy practice he gathered the offense and said "We've got to believe in each other. We've got to show we've got more guts than the other guys." Then he ate a whole box of uncooked macaroni.

LANDRY JONES: I haven't achieved everything I wanted at Oklahoma, but I've still got what matters - faith, family, and a promising future. Assuming I don't get drafted by fucking Jacksonville.