clock menu more-arrow no yes mobile

Filed under:

JOHNNY FOOTBRO

AN OFFICIAL ACCOUNTING OF BRO POINTS IN THE DUDE PERFECT/JOHNNY FOOTBALL TRICK SHOT VIDEO

By now you've likely seen the basketball trick shot video above perpetrated by artists of said medium, Dude Perfect, along with Texas A&M Heisman winner Johnny Manziel. It's fairly amazing, as these sort of trick shot videos tend to be. However, don't be distracted by all of the feats of trickeration to fail to appreciate the ample quantities of BRO stuff that is going on in this video. This thing is filled with public displays of BROing on a massive scale. In fact, there's so much BROing out here, it may be hard for you, the viewing audience, to fully wrap your minds around it. To assist, and properly understand all that's BROing down here, at Spencer's request, I've taken the time to take a full on BRO by BRO accounting of the video thusly:

:17 Matching shirts promoting your own BRO brand. Darren Rovell would give you dap for that, BRO

Tall BRO +1, AND1 shorts BRO +1, Sweatpants BRO +1

:22 Unexpected cameo (known, for purposes of this video as a "BROmeo")

JFF +1

:39 Dressed head to BRO in Aggie gear

Beard BRO +1

:44 BRO 5

JFF +1, Beard BRO +1

:51 BRO 5

JFF +1, Beard BRO +1

:56 BRO dunk/BRO jump bump

Sweatpants BRO +1, Tall BRO +1, Random BRO+1

:58 Superman CeleBROtion while wearing sweatbands unironically

Tall BRO +1

1:10 Epic slo-BRO for video effect

JFF +1, Beard BRO +1

1:17 Superman CeleBROtion

JFF +1

1:25 Superman CeleBROtion

Beard BRO +1

1:32 BRO jump bump

JFF +1, Beard BRO +1,

1:34 Synchronized karate fist pump

JFF +1, Beard BRO +1,

1:40 Superman CeleBROtion

JFF +1

1:44 Show BROating. Typically that's poor form to show up another BRO in victory, but since it's Johnny Football, we'll let it slide.

JFF +1

1:59 BRO 5/BRO hug combo

JFF +2, Beard BRO +2

2:01 Finger goggle BRO thingy

JFF +1

2:02 BRO 5

JFF +1. Beard BRO +1

2:32 Fist pump at another BRO's success

Tall BRO +1

2:34 Karate fist pump

JFF +1

2:40 BRO 5/BRO hug combo

JFF +2, Beard BRO +2

2:44 BRO jump bump

Tall BRO +1, JFF +1

3:08 Excessive celeBROtion. It's just an extra point, BRO.

Beard BRO +1

3:10 Karate fist pump

JFF +1

3:11 BRO fist bump

JFF +1, Beard BRO +1

3:12 Fist pump at another BRO's success

Tall BRO +1

3:18 Karate fist pump/Finger goggle BRO thingy/fist bump exBROsion

JFF +3

3:24 BRO jump bump

Tall BRO +1, Random BRO +1

3:25 BRO muggin' for the camera/Superman celeBROtion combo

Tall BRO +1, Random BRO +1

3:27 Superman CeleBROtion

Sweatpants BRO +1

3:33 BRO fist bump to camera/BRO head bump to camera

Beard BRO +1, JFF +1

3:43 I'm totally dressed in a panda suit, BRO!

Panda BRO +1

3:53 Jumping karate fist pump

Beard BRO +1

3:56 Superman CeleBROtion

Beard BRO +1

3:58 Heisman with a BRO bump jump in the background

Panda BRO +1, Beard BRO +1, Sweatpants BRO +1

4:12 Acknowledging another BRO

Cameraman BRO +1

4:28 BRO mosh pit (so much BROing going on it's hard to keep track, so 10 points for all across the board)

JFF +10, Beard BRO +10, Tall Bro +10, Hipster BRO +10, Random BRO +10

4:33 Superman CeleBROtion

Tall BRO +1

4:36 Tandem Superman CeleBROtion

JFF +1, Random BRO +1

4:45 Making that shot

JFF +ALL OF THE BRO POINTS

FINAL BRO SCORE:

JFF: ALL OF THE BRO POINTS

Beard BRO: 28 BRO points

Tall BRO: 20 BRO points

Random BRO: 14 BRO points

Sweatpants BRO: 4 BRO points

Hipster BRO: 10 BRO points

Panda BRO: 2 BRO points

And1 Shorts BRO: 1 BRO point

Cameraman BRO: 1 BRO point

So there you have it. The tally is in and it should come as no surprise, that even among other BROs of substantial BROness, Johnny Football stands alone as the one BRO King to rule them all. All hail with respect and dap exBROsions.