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27% Te'o Free!

LIGHT UP THE KRISPY KREME SIGN. Hot takes all OVER this Internet, people! Maybe you're interested in Michael Bird explaining how maybe football reporting should be about football. Alternatively, you might be curious as to how the journalists failed to journal. Or maybe you want to hear what Clay Travis has to say.

FRAUDSTERS ARE EVERYWHERE. Jadeveon Clowney is frighteningly real. Jadeveon Clowney's foes? Less so.

LET'S ALL SETTLE DOWN NOW. Still, he Te'o story doesn't affect the vast majority of the college landscape. Take Gainesville, for instance, where that whole theft arrest was probably just a mistake and everything's fine I promise


HIS SCHNELLENNESS IS HOLDING COURT. And it includes the phrase "interplay between cheerleaders" so yes you should probably go read it right now.

DOUG JOHNSON HAS BEEN WRONGLY ACCUSED. It couldn't have been him in this fight, because there's no allegation that halfway through he was subbed out for Jesse Palmer.