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THE CURIOUS INDEX, 1/15/2013

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LET'S MARVEL AT A DIFFERENT BREED OF LUNATIC

Streeter Lecka

TEAM EX-SLAVES AND INBREDS. It is delightful for Alabama fans to turn the tables on the usual, scrounge the internet, and find insanity just as deep or deeper in the bowels of the Notre Dame hivemind. We mean as crazy as Alabama fans, and no really, just as fucking crazy and racist, if not more so:

Good Lord their running backs are unreal. Why couldn't we have had forced breeding back in the Civil War. I want guys like this on our team

[backs away from this comment while wearing lead apron and tongs]

[runs like there's a fluorine fire in the lab]

NO. Planking is not back, but we'll make exceptions for planking on a bronze wolf.

PUT THE MAN IN MANZIEL, HURR HURR. He's being told to be more mature in his sophomore year as a returning Heisman winner. We hope he responds by not getting arrested, and continuing to floss so hard dentists are like owwww bro you should let up on them thangs.

GODSPEED, SIR. T. Kyle King is leaving DawgSports, and the most ironic tribute possible would be to simply say: thank you.

ABOUT THAT TAUNTING. Doug's on the case re: SEC championship taunting as a group.

CHANNING CROWDER SHOWS A CHILD HOW TO CATCH A WHOLE CAR IN THE CANALS OF MIAMI. You don't know what's on the end of that line, and it doesn't matter because Channing Crowder is going to beat the living hell out of it with a twelve pack. Please remember: Crowder liked to stay fresh by tackling wild boar.

ETC: Bobby Hill is America. If you are a year late to the wonders of El-P's "Cancer for Cure," you should really fix that right now. Lookin' good, Instagram! Pakistan seems chill about right now. Lincoln, you bastard. The bit at 1:10 is the finest slice of this Youtube poop.