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YOU ARE NOT PREPARED, BUT IT'S BETTER THAN IT ONCE WAS

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Tamer than they used to be, actually.  (Photo by Chris Graythen/Getty Images)
Tamer than they used to be, actually. (Photo by Chris Graythen/Getty Images)
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Oh, this is optimistic, Offensive Coordinator Eric Kiesau of the University of Washington.

"We've got to be aware of that,'' Kiesau said. "That can be a factor, and we know what their stadium is all about. Kids are used to it, they've played in big stadiums with big atmospheres. We just have to be able to communicate and make sure we are communicating with non-verbal communicating, our hand signals, so we know what we are doing.''

Oh, let's tell you a story, Eric Kiesau of the University of Washington. It's a story we may have told before from an old LSU hand who went to the games as a child in the 1950s. Someone said, oh, man, Tiger Stadium is out of hand, etc. This is paraphrased, but we have no reason to believe the man was lying.

My grandfather takes me to a game. It's loud, it's hot, it's loud. We leave the stadium for some reason because you could go in and out. We see a man going up the hill. He's staggering because he's blind drunk. Wearing a tie and suspenders, but he's sweat through it all. Just drunk as hell.

Anyway, there's this woman going along behind him, and she's just ripping him up and down. You worthless so-and-so, sorry-ass son-of-a-bitch, going on and on and on and on behind him. She's drunk too, really, really drunk. He ain't sayin' a word, mind you.

Finally, she says something that gets him, and without changing expression, he turns without looking and throws one punch that drops her to the ground. He walks away and doesn't look back once.

[all listening kind of just stand there like WHAT THE HELL]

So I assure you: it's gotten better. I would know.

So the thing you brought out a tiger to prepare for this week, and are using hand signals for in order to combat the blast furnace of sound your ears will be frying in? It's probably louder now, but the current degenerate chaos that will be throwing beers onto your head Saturday night, U-Dub? It's been worse, inside and out. [Drunken Les Miles turns, drops Steve Sarkisian in one punch, and then rides off on live tiger because LES MILES.]

P.S. You're prepared, but you're not.

P.P.S. Same stadium where we had an LSU fan offer to "piss on you to get some excellence on you" in the bathroom.