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TURN OFF THE GODDAMNED SMOKE MACHINE. There is no finer image from week one. Frankly, we're shocked this doesn't happen more often.


Please note that Mississippi State won their game handily, so maybe the Dawgpile will become America's newest and most celebrated team entrance. ["Enter Sandman" plays] [everyone runs into enormous pile]

"TRUDGED." Paul Johnson: officially the kind of coach who is happy to admit he says "screw it, we'll go for it" in the middle of games.

OLD MAN FOOTBALL. Mizzou DT Sheldon Richardson, you are new at this, but we like the confidence and also the term "old man football." That old man football, that old man football just keeps winning nine games a year or so even though we have no idea what Georgia is actually supposed to be doing on offense other than "Mike Bobo picks plays out of a hat." (Note: Mike Bobo picking plays out of a hat is still vastly more effective than anything Florida has done for what is now the third year running.)

DESMOND HOWARD'S SUIT. It is still the most beautiful thing we saw this weekend not involving a caught football.

OH JOY A STARTING HANDOFFBACK. Jeff Driskel will be the starter for Florida on Saturday against Texas A&M, something no one could have guessed after all the clever sleight-of-hand Will Muschamp insisted on against Bowling Green! Or totally could have guessed! Man, so glad we're trying to emulate the greatest football team ever as our model at Florida: the 2006 Miami Dolphins.

A MICHIGAN MAN DOES NOT HAVE CORNERBACKS. Blake Countess, starting quarterback for Michigan, will miss the rest of the year with torn ligaments in his knee as reported by MGoBlog first. (Not SOURCES. MGoBlog.) He'll be replaced on the depth chart by Courtney Avery and backed up by sleepy adorable otters.

IF THERE'S ONE PLACE FLORIDA STATE CAN AFFORD TO HAVE A TERRIBLE INJURY, IT'S NOWHERE BECAUSE INJURIES SUCK EVEN WITH AMAZING DEPTH. DE Brandon Jenkins truly gets the UFIA of all UFIAs in the form of a Lisfranc fracture in his leg. Florida State can't afford it--we hate that term because value minus value by definition is less value--but they can, as Tomahawk Nation puts it, "weather" the injury way better than most. The fracture itself is a nasty, hard-to-heal injury, but we certainly wish Jenkins the best in doing so.

OH MY HOW INTERESTING NICK SABAN'S NOT HAPPY. You see this pile of cash, Nick Saban? We've just been bringing it here and dumping it because we don't know what else to do with it. There's more money here than you can spend in a lifetime. How big does it have to get? Huh? How much is enough?

JUST WHAT NC STATE NEEDED. A suspended corner to go with the newly vulnerable David Amerson.

ETC: Nooooo whyyyy she had so much to give. Alphabetical in process for noonish; Shutdown Fullback's two-minute weekend summary up shortly. Heal us, terribly cute pictures.